Musings

[Blog] Happy Dance

Faith Hakimian

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I’m really excited. I finished the first chapter of the second draft* of my novel, and I’m happy with it. For now. And by for now I mean until draft three, because if I don’t keep going I’m gonna get stuck here. Again.

But.

All that’s beside the point. Because right now I’ve got a complete unit of this beast of a story that I’m actually pretty happy with, and I’ve got at least a few bones of the structure of the rest of it, and it’s all been a wonderful boost to my morale.

Sure, there’s hours and hours of work left, and I’ve still got plot holes to discover and fill and worlds to build and work the kinks out of and characters to meet and coax onto the page. But right now, I’m just going to enjoy the fact that I’ve managed to scale this first peak and, hopefully, use the momentum to keep right on going.

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Musings

[Blog] That Other Story

Faith Hakimian

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It’s happening again. I’m sitting down to focus on one story, and I catch myself drifting off and daydreaming and plotting out an entirely different one. One the one hand, I can hardly complain about multiple story ideas bouncing around in my head. On the other, I can’t help but wonder if this is just another sneaky way to procrastinate. (Spoiler: It totally is.)

Even so, it’s a sight better than other, non-story related methods of dragging my feet. Let me explain: there will always be distractions while writing– that goes without saying– but the ones that are the hardest to deal with are the internal ones, not the external ones. If you’ve got external ones, like giddy kids the next room over or construction going on outside or just plain busyness in life, you can almost always snatch a few minutes to write here and there and still make progress. It’s not ideal, but it works.

But if you’ve got internal ones, alternately known as a lack of motivation, or an overactive inner editor, or maybe even writer’s block, it’s that much harder to make those five minutes count. And when you are getting hit from both sides, that’s how you end up with a long stretch of time with not so many words. Or I do, at any rate. But if the internal distractions are still writing related, then at least you’re still training yourself to do that writing thing.

Or in other words, I’m just grateful that my brain is playing the right game and not trying to use the metaphorical ball to play fetch with the cute stray mutt that just walked by.

And who knows, maybe that new idea that ambushed me a couple days ago will be worth pursuing sometime. I wrote it down, just in case.

Musings

[Blog] The Middle Slog

Faith Hakimian

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A friend of mine recently asked me why I like writing. Or rather, why I continue to write when I spend at least as much time actually putting pen to paper as I do moaning about the fact that I ought to be writing. And the answer to that is simple: despite evidence to the contrary, I enjoy writing, and there are stories in my head that demand to be let out.

This does raise a further question, though. If I enjoy wordcraft as much as I say I do, why do I complain about it so much? Part of it, of course, is that it takes discipline to write, and discipline is hard. But there’s more to it than that. The bigger part is that certain parts of the creative process are more enjoyable than others.

For me, writing is the most fun when I’m coming up with ideas for new stories or once I finally get caught up in the flow of the action on my way to the climax of the story. Those are the things that niggle in the back of my brain and demand I find a way to make the words on the page match the epic scenes I have playing out in my head. The problem is that neither of those take up the bulk of writing.

That spot would be taken up by the work of getting from point A to point B to point C in a believable and interesting fashion. Which, despite what it sounds like I just said, is often enjoyable in its own right– it’s just also hard, for me, at least, if not for writers in general. It requires good pacing, a (more or less) complete knowledge of the ins and outs of the story so as to avoid plot holes, and there’s also a whole lot of false starts as you figure out what’s really important and what doesn’t actually figure in to the story.

Or, put another way, it’s where the work of writing happens. And it’s hard work. Rewarding, certainly, as anyone who has ever finished a story will tell you, but hard all the same. And that, my friends, is why I grumble about it and why I’ll never give it up either.

Musings

[Blog] Scribbles

Faith Hakimian

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When it comes to writing, I like to think of myself as a panster*. I much prefer coming up with a vague idea and running with it, mostly because by the time I come up with something that excites me, I really just want to go play with it, not hammer out all the details. (In other news, I also have trouble rationing out a stash of candy for any length of time. The two might be related, but I’m not admitting nothin’.)

The problem is, not planning things out in advance generally leaves me with gaping plot holes and/or sticky corners in which to get myself stuck. It would be fantastic, I think to myself, if all of my characters charged down the hill towards the big bad monsters in epic fashion. And so I have my characters do just that, only to realize in the instants before they engage the enemy that such an attack is tactically unsound, and either their leader isn’t the strategic genius I thought they were or they have some sneaky plot up their sleeve… which I’m going to have to figure out before I write much further.

And so, I stall.

So when I tell you that I managed to tame my giddier impulses and actually come up with something of a decent outline for the first several chapters of That Novel I’m Still Working On, I hope you understand why I’m so convinced that it’s a triumph. We’ll see how it fares when I try to force that outline into actual prose.

 

* (noun) one who writes by the seat of their pants

Musings

[Blog] “When you can’t run, you crawl”

Faith Hakimian

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One of my favorite lines from the whole Firefly series is the one provides the backbone to The Message, the episode where Mal and Zoe get the body of one of their old war buddies in the mail. A lot of you probably know the one I’m talking about already (and if you don’t, please beware of spoilers below):

“When you can’t run, you crawl, and when you can’t crawl– when you can’t do that anymore, you find someone to carry you.”

It’s a sentiment that’s been deeply important to my circle of friends. We’re a bit less melodramatic about it than we were during college, but it’s still one of the easiest shorthands we have to describe what you do for the people you care about. So when I recently rewatched the episode, I was surprised to remember that Tracey used it as justification for calling his old comrades in arms “saps”.

The last time I watched it, I think I was so focused on the no-man-left-behind part that I didn’t really register that one of the main characters in the episode actually considered it a weakness. And sure, there’s a good chance he was grateful for it by the end, and our protagonists did right by him regardless. But still.

I’m not sure why I noticed it so much this time. It’s not like it’s the first time someone exploited the people who were there for them, and I’m pretty sure the whole thing is just a variation on the same theme Jesus was talking about when he said to turn the other cheek. But for whatever reason, it made me think a little harder this time. It made me that much more grateful for the people I know who will be there to carry me, too.

Musings

[Blog] Relearning Old Lessons

Faith Hakimian

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Man. There was a time (last summer, actually) that I was doing a very good job of actually writing fiction every day. Part or most of that had to do with the fact that I’d finally started accepting that whole “the only good writing is rewriting” thing. And, of course, there was also a pretty solid understanding that it’s a lot easier to edit something that already exists.

And then I fell out of practice. I’m inclined to say that I had a couple of great reasons for it– world travel, moving, new job– but regardless of whether it made sense or not, the upshot is the same: it’s really hard to write. Again.

Sigh.

It’s a bit like working out. You get into the rhythm and the habit and it’s a bit easier. Your brain and your fingers know what it’s like to produce a regular wordcount, and whether or not its some great masterpiece, it’s getting better every day. And then something happens, maybe an injury, maybe something else. But whatever it is, it breaks the rhythm, and after a week, it suddenly seems so hard to just work out. You’ve already missed a few days, what’s one more?

And then one more, and one more, and one more…

And just like that, you’ve suckered yourself out of months of hard work at building a good habit.

For me, I think I’m slowly getting it back. Provided, of course, that I didn’t just jinx it by saying so. It helps to have encouragement and writing buddies (you all know who you are!), and the fact that I’m actually feeling pretty settled in my new routine with work and travel and such doesn’t hurt either. And I think there’s still a long climb before I’m as settled with it as I used to be, but for the first time since I fell out of the habit, I’m feeling a bit of it coming back. Which makes me really happy.

Musings

[Blog] Perspective

Faith Hakimian

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I’ve always thought I lived in beautiful places. The area of northern Idaho I grew up in is full of rolling hills that are green in the spring and golden in the summer and fall. And then, as if that wasn’t beautiful enough, I went to college and worked my first job in Santa Barbara, meaning that I got to spend the next nine years in a city with mountains on one side and ocean and islands on the other. I’m a littler farther south now, in an area that’s drier and browner (now that summer is in full swing, at least) and not what I would immediately think to describe as a beautiful place. Not because it’s not, but because I’m used to a different sort of pretty.

But then I catch a glimpse of a desert sunset, the sort that covers everything in a wash of gold, the sort that somehow seems more vibrant when the first whisper of a cooler breeze come through, the sort that’s nothing like what I grew up with. And it’s incredible.

Musings

[Blog] The Buddy System

Faith Hakimian

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Or: Misery Loves Company

I’ve been trying to figure out why I have so much luck doing NaNoWriMo in November, but when I try to participate in either of the Camp NaNoWriMo events in April and July, I seem to fall off the wagon before it even starts rolling. It’s mortifying, really, because I know I can will myself into performing great feats of writing, and every time April or July rolls around I promise myself that I’ll do better this time… and then I’m eight days in and haven’t written a word on my chosen project. As I said– mortifying.

And yet, that’s never been a problem in November. I’ll grumble and drag my feet and wonder why in the heck I’m putting myself through the insanity yet again, but I’ll write. I may even get behind, but that just means I write more later. (Some years I’ve gotten really behind and that’s when the aforementioned feats of writing prowess happen. It’s ridiculous, but I’m quite proud of the fact that I have written over ten thousand words in a single day multiple times. Please forgive my shameless bragging.)

At this point, I’ve got two theories as to why this is. The first is that the November event is a whole big to-do: fifty thousand words, thirty days, one novel. Go! Thousands of people participate every year, and we’re all in it together, encouraging each other, recommending our favorite writing music, exchanging wordcount updates. It’s a whole lot of momentum, and it’s always helped me keep at it. There’s a little of the same during the smaller events, but they’ve just never quite matched up to the excitement of the big one for me.

The second is that the Camp events let you set your own goal– which you would think would make it even easier to keep on task, but always seems to take away a bit of the excitement for me. It’s more of a personal challenge that way, but apparently I’m just more motivated by chasing the same goal as a bunch of different people.

All that being said, I’ve found a way around this. Sort of. My best (read: most productive) NaNo ever was in 2015, when I ended up with a complete, if rough, manuscript and a substantially higher wordcount than most years, and I got there because I spent the entire darn month racing with my sister who was doing the same thing. So this month, I suckered her into doing camp with me.

Her wordcount is waaay better than mine, but I have gotten work done on my own project too, so I’m pretty sure this is a win.

PS: Thank you, dear sister, for writing with me. I truly appreciate it.

Musings

[Blog] All the Different Stories

Faith Hakimian

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As a self-professed introvert, it feels a little funny to say that one of my favorite things about my new job is all the different people I get to meet and all the different stories I get to hear about their lives. I get to interact and connect with all sorts of folks I’d likely never have run across otherwise, and I get to learn a little bit about the way they see the world. The same thing happened when I was driving for a rideshare service, too, so it’s not just limited to the medical field.

I, as I imagine most of us do, tend to gravitate towards certain groups of people– the sorts I get along with best, with whom we I the most in common. When something other than shared interests bring me together with someone, common interests may or may not be involved at all, at least not in the way they are when I meet people through something like a shared hobby. It’s a great thing for perspective. It makes it a lot easier to not caricature people on the “other” side of this or that divide.

Musings

[Blog] One Year

Faith Hakimian

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Last week, WordPress sent me a friendly little message congratulating me on the one year anniversary of this blog, which left me simultaneously wondering where the time had gone and how it had only been a single year. To everyone who’s run across my adventures and stories and random musings during the last fifty two weeks, thank you all so very much. I can’t even begin to say how much your support means to me.

Going forward, I definitely plan to continue posting weekly on Fridays, but I’d love to hear from all of you regarding what you’d be interested in seeing. More writing prompts? More stories (I’d like that too…)? Book reviews? Thoughts on what it’s like for a former English Major to embark in a career in the medical field?

Please post your thoughts below! I’d love to hear from you, and I look forward to another year of sharing my nerdy speculations and silly adventures.