Musings

[Blog] Driving On

The other day, I had occasion to remember how I felt about driving on the LA freeways when I first moved to California. Specifically, that the thought terrified me. Having grown up where there was one highway (not freeway, mind you: highway), with one lane going either direction, even imagining Los Angeles’ frantic hive of five lanes this way, eight lanes that way– and heaven help you if you choose the wrong way and need to get somewhere at a specific time– could be panic-inducing.

Which, given that my current job usually involves spending countless hours maneuvering a large vehicle through those same freeways and up and down the equally (even more?) chaotic streets, is rather amusing. The gaming nerd in me wants to say that I’ve really leveled up my driving stats. Or my Pilot (Ground Vehicle) skill, if you will. The writer in me is trying very hard (and clearly failing) to not say something cheesy about character growth. Mostly, though, I just find it interesting. That, and it goes to show that you never really know where life will take you. “If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans” and all that.

Also, I know this is at least my second post heavily referencing freeways. I’m sorry. I live in LA county. It’s a hazard.

In other news, I’m probably going to be looking at switching up my blog schedule and/or coming up with a more comprehensive plan for what I’ll be writing. The current one is proving difficult to keep up with for a few different reasons, one of which is my work schedule which is tricky, but not impossible to get around. I’ll keep you updated!

Musings

[Blog] Change

So, this week, I got a new job. Or rather, provided I get all the necessary paperwork and certifications renewed, I got a new job. This means several things, foremost in my mind being the fact that I’m going to spend the next few weeks in a chaotic flurry that may or may not involve braving the California DMV multiple times. (Oh, joy!) It also means that my carefully curated routines are about to get turned on their heads. (Oh, double joy!) But it also– sarcasm and low-key panic aside– also means that I’m going to, I hope, be doing something that is another step closer to the emergency medicine career that I’ve been moving towards for several years now. Moving slowly, granted, but moving nonetheless. And all panic and flailing against change aside, that’s pretty cool. Terrifying, but pretty darn cool.

Plus, if I’m really lucky and I get to do three twelve hour shifts (oh please oh please oh please oh please…), I’m going to have a whole bunch more time I can use for writing.

Musings

[Blog] Home

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This week, the way it always does when I’m visiting my family, my mind wandered back to that old saying about home and how you can never go there again. And, if pressed, I’d have to admit that I think it’s true. Once you move away from home, it will never be quite the same again. You’ll change, home will change. The pieces will never fit together quite the way they did before. But really, that’s only part of the story.

For one thing, change isn’t something that only happens when you leave. It makes it more visible, sure, and might make it happen faster as you adjust to a different set of circumstances and surroundings, but if you stayed, things wouldn’t remain static. Children grow, towns expand or shrink, new people come and old ones age or move away. Your hometown in 1998 is not the same place as your hometown in 2008 or 2018. Not entirely.

But then again, even if years pass between visits, there’s still familiarity. When I visit my family, I might not be sure which of my siblings is sleeping in which room, or even which ones are actually still living with my parents, but when we all come together I can guarantee that there will be exuberant conversation, giddy tickle fights, and more than a few terrible puns. It brings another old saying to mind: “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

It’s not something exclusive to your first home, of course. If– when I go back to Armenia, it won’t be the same as it was while I was a volunteer with Birthright Armenia. Hopefully some of that will be because the country has continued to grow stronger. Some of it will have more to do with the fact that it won’t be my first visit. And some of it will be for other reasons entirely. But however it has changed, it will still be Hayastan, my homeland and the place I spent four crazy months in late 2017.

So, no. When you leave a place, you won’t be able to go back to things exactly as they were. But maybe it won’t be so different as you think, either.